I was telling my friend, musician and singer Norman Anderson that I haven't really cried over Thurber yet.
I have some real life things that are stressing me out just a bit and I just haven't allowed myself, for some reason, to really mourn over him. But I feel this pall. I don't want to inflict it on others, so when I tell them about Thurber having died, I don't make a big deal about it. It's okay with me that some people aren't "pet people."
And I don't know if I'm ready for "the big cry" yet. For instance, as I'm writing this, my face is starting to burn hot, my nose is beginning to water and my eyes are starting to hurt. Do I need to plunge in and just get it over with? And when you do that, does it help?
God, I just remembered, as a child, picking up our dog, Tippy. (TIPPY??). Hit by a car. Dead in the street. My brother Dave was there. He has a better memory for these sorts of things. He always accuses me of dramatizing everything out of proportion, which I probably do.
I have some stories from the cruise that I didn't tell you about, and can't pull myself to do it. One is with the Night Crew. Remember them? They were all there and events regarding the Night Crew videos mushroomed until we were all the TVs in the staterooms with a brand new video.
I also met a military man who is directly involved in the anti-insurgent strategy in Iraq. We had a long, fascinating discussion.
So, I will get to those. I promise.
8 comments:
{{{{{Steve}}}}} big hugs.....
It's going to take time....and you will cry when the cry comes. It may not come when you want it to, or even when you need for it to....but it will come. And it may come again....
And altho' you may not feel better right away, allowing the sorrow and the big cry is part of the grieving process.....and in the end you will start to feel better.
Thurber was part of your life; part of your family.....and it's a huge loss.
In 2007 I lost my mom - that was, and still is, devastating. But I also lost my cat, Benjie, who was about 15 years old.....and I grieved over them both.
Big, big hugs to you and Jim - You "angel kitty" is looking over you.....
Barb
in Alabama
bhyde1696@yahoo.com
Thank you, Barb.
Honey, grieving is a necessary part of life. "The big cry" may not help you get past it, but it will come sooner or later...and other "big cries" will come too. Some may say that it's "just a cat," but animals become our family and this isn't any different than losing a family member. In fact, you were closer to him than your real family because he lived with you and was part of your everyday life.
They say if you resist grieving for someone you've lost now, you'll find yourself breaking down some months/years in the future over something inconsequential.
We are built to love, and we are built to grieve the loss of the beings that we loved.
You have been through so much loss in your life and through much of it, Thurber was there to help you through it.
Grieve in the way that feels right for you, but don't hold back. Sooner or later it comes out.
(Of course you could take the pain and turn it into a song. I hear that is good advice too.)
Your posts about Thurber moved me to tears. I'm so sorry.
I hope there are people "big" enough in your life so you can inflict yourself all over them and they can handle it. I'm sure there are.
Sending lots of good wishes.
Punkin,
Let yourself do what you need to do when you need to do it. Don't worry about the right ting ti do. There is no right thing when it comes to grief.
Thurber gets it.
-Alex
Hug.
Wiping away a tear.
Hug.
Brian
Lots and lots of hugs.
I'd be much more worried if you weren't grieving.
It is terribly unfair that we always have to lose loved ones of the four-legged variety too soon, but would you want to go back and not have had him in your life?
Post a Comment