Showing posts with label diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label diary. Show all posts

Thursday, June 06, 2013

TALES FROM THE BONUS ROUND: The Sad Story of Cabaret Boy

TALES FROM THE BONUS ROUND: The Sad Story of Cabaret Boy
(The Story of the Birth of The Last Session & The Rebirth of Steve)
LOS ANGELES
JUNE 1996*

*(Edit: I accidentally wrote 2013 earlier. Fixed now to 1996)

13 pounds up
(Almost a stone)
He stood naked and dry
Looking down at the number

Sure, the 10 pound mark
Was when he made the big announcement
That he would live
But these next three pounds
They came so fast
Evidence was piling up

Dare he actually believe it?
Is Songwriter Guy actually going to live?
He'd been telling everyone he would
But he ALWAYS told everyone he would
Never, in his diary did he ever say
"Well, I'm dying now"
He never even thought that way

He had learned to be a patient

Learned to use every strong moment
To accomplish something
Learned to use every weak moment
By giving himself permission
To sleep
Perchance, even, to dream

Dream that the songs that saved his life
Might actually make it to Broadway!
A place he didn't know much about
Songwriter Boy was more rock and roll
Than theater, but
Jim had been teaching him

And back at the Songwriter Academy
A few years earlier
When he was in charge of programs
He had organized a seminar on writing musicals
With the Lehman Engel Workshop

And now he had The Last Session
But were they cheering for the musical?
Or were they cheering for the
AIDS Guy singing the
Last Songs Of His Life?

He thought back to an incident
Back at the Academy
Just a couple years earlier
When a TV producer named Sandy Sprung
Married With Children!
Hired him to musical direct
A "one and only" dream
That her friend
Cabaret Boy had:
Cabaret Boy was dying of AIDS

To, just one time,
Once before he dies
Sing and perform his own cabaret act
At the Manhattan club in Silver Lake

Cabaret Boy had never sung anywhere before
Except in his own living room
But he had every Liza album
Every Judy record

So, Sandy and Songwriter Guy
Helped Cabaret Boy
Choose the songs
Eating Pollo Loco in his living room

The day of the big show
Cabaret Boy got deathly ill
"Would you go on for me?"
Cabaret Boy begged

How could he say no?

The night of the big show
Our hero sang the songs
And
In the back of the room
Covered in a blanket
Looking like a monk
Shaking like a leaf
Sat Cabaret Boy watching

Watching someone else sing his show

And now, Songwriter Guy turned AIDS Boy turned
Lazarus Child had his own dream

The Songs The Saved His Life
The musical called The Last Session
On Broadway

The difference, though, is WANTS someone else singing his show
He wants the whole world
Singing His Show

But he had one little hurdle to overcome

How the hell do you get a show to Broadway?

And how the hell do you do it while being
Hooked up to a feeding bag?


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

TALES FROM THE BONUS ROUND: THE SCALES Pt. 2

TALES FROM THE BONUS ROUND: THE SCALES Pt. 2
Recounting the birth of The Last Session and the Rebirth of Steve
Los Angeles
June 1996


Four days to showtime
The Saturday morning reading
One shot

His ears were still plugged up
He needed sound equipment
He needed a keyboard
They had one shot

David Robyn, his rocker friend,
Pledged mics, amp and speakers
His friend, Alan O'Day,
Drove over the hill with things
Alan O'Day -- Undercover Angel
Angie Baby, Rock and Roll Heaven

Alan O'Day
Who died of cancer last week
While AIDS-boy lives on

Steve Wilde and Marjorie Graue
(Buddy and Vicki)
Rehearsed songs
Between feedings from Louie
He peed a lot

Yve Evans
(Trysha)
Will drive in from the desert

Suddenly, Saturday morning
The theater is packed
The audience waiting
No keyboard
They've got one shot

Who knows if he'll live long enough
To get a second?

Yve says she'll go buy one
And return it the next day
The show must go on
She's on the way out the door
With a credit card

What he didn't know was that
Today was Gay Pride Parade day
The keyboard was late
Because Terence couldn't get thru the parade

The irony was not lost
On the gay dying songwriter
He was losing his shot
10 AM
No music stores are even open

His stomach was hurting
The bandage on his arm throbbed
From the port leading to his heart
Defeated by his own people

Then, as if from out of the blue
The keyboard arrives
Everyone scrambles
It works
The show starts
One shot

In his diary, the Songwriter notes
That he had almost no memory
Of this crucial performance
Apart from being scared
And then releasing himself
Into the emotions of the material
Because he couldn't hear it
His ears were more plugged than ever

But he remembered the hugs
The tears
The pledges of support

The next day he was too weak
To function
He stayed in bed
He let Louie feed him
He peed a lot

And then, the next day,
JUNE 10, 1996

He announces on his blog
That he has gained 10 pounds
After three years of diarrhea
Three years of not processing food
And narcotics to stop the flow

Three years of life slipping away
He had gained 10 pounds
(3/4 of a stone)

He was afraid to announce
That he just might possibly live
But he couldn't be sure
Not yet
He still felt terrible
But now he had graduated
To Thai curry chicken

No more BRAT diet

Next, they met with Gary and Linda
"What do you want to do with this show?"
He answered naively,
"I want to go to New York and
Be on Broadway!"
Gary and Linda looked at him
Looked at the skeleton
Sitting in front of them 
And thought,
"Is he even gonna make it
To the end of the week?"

No one knew.

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Tales From the Bonus Round: The Scales, pt. 1

Tales From the Bonus Round: The Scales, pt. 1
Los Angeles.
May and June of 1996.


The change happened so quickly
In May, he was picturing his death
Fantasizing about his memorial service
Thinking about his friends
Pictured them having a laugh over him

And in June, he was staring at a miracle
In the dial of a bathroom scale

In May, he was calling his best girlfriends
And crying on their shoulders
Trying not to use his diary as a platform
For whining and complaining
He was constant pain
His sick body wasting away

In June, more than the scales had been tipped.

His "feed bag" became Louie
Louie, who tipped over when walking
Louie, who hummed so loud
That Jim had to sleep
In the loft
On the floor

And since this was in the days before
He had a proper camera
And bandwidth
The only picture of Louie that survives
Was drawn by a reader named Karl



He and Jim spend their days mailing out flyers
Sending faxes
Contacting anyone they knew
Does anyone want to produce a new musical
About AIDS?
Time was running out

They watched the Tony Awards together
They saw Jonathan Larson get his posthumously
Died before opening night
Jim, in tears, yelling,
THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU

Then, a friend refers them to Irene
Who produces theater for the disabled
She told them of a theater on Melrose
A theater behind a neon sign shop
The Zephyr

Gary and Linda

It just so happened that the Zephyr
Had a Saturday morning play reading series
And somebody dropped out

Could they be ready in four days?

His ears were now plugged up
Something new on the attack
But he would not be deterred
Four days?

No problem.

NEXT: The Day The Gay Pride Parade Almost Did Him In.