Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Haggard is Heterosexual!

According to this news item on the NY Times site:

DENVER (AP) -- One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is ''completely heterosexual.''

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday's edition.

''He is completely heterosexual,'' Ralph said. ''That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

Ralph said the board spoke with people close to Haggard while investigating his claim that his only extramarital sexual contact happened with Mike Jones. The board found no evidence to the contrary.

That's because straight guys always hire male prostitutes when they want to "act out." After all, female prostitutes are so difficult to come by.

READER MIKE ADDS: In other news, Michael Jackson announced he's completely white, Richard Simmons is convinced he's incredibly butch, and Britney Spears is convinced she's extremely intelligent.
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