In fact, he may be a victim of the church's ex-gay reparative therapy program. Having failed to find heterosexuality through Jesus it appears that Murray was booted out of the youth program and out of the church. Crushed by this rejection and overwhelmed by rage and despair thanks to the curse of homosexuality, Murray went on a killing spree that ended with himself.People were wondering why he chose THIS particular church, the one recently pastored by Rev. Ted Haggard, who loved doing crystal meth -- and who claimed to be cured of his homosexuality after a month of "treatment." And, as Matthew says, "...was forgiven."
Matthew, unable to change into a hetero, was kicked out of the program and ostracized by the church community (because some conservative Christian groups cannot bear to be in the same room with people who they think might be gay, even if that person is trying not to be.)
In the larger world of Exodus International, I've met more than a few of these "leaders" who have flat out told me that if someone won't stick with the program, they will literally turn their back on them and have nothing to do with them. And they call this "love." As one put it to me, "Hey, if they choose not to go through the program all the way, why should I waste my time on them?"
(Exodus doesn't keep records of how many fail. They can't. If they did, they'd be even more of a laughing stock than they are. As it is, they're content to simply be a political tool of James Dobson).
So, rejected by family. Rejected by friends. Rejected by the group that claims to "love" them, they end up broken and fallen, and usually on the streets of LA, NY or San Francisco, doing drugs, turning tricks and trying to die -- or they take a gun and end it all. The streets of LA are not filled with out, proud gay men. They are filled with the failures of the exgay movement (whose clients are mostly closet cases). First these "Christian counselors" trash the ones they are supposed to love, and then accuse the gay community of being drugged out and promiscuous.
I want to say to them, "Hey! These are YOUR kids out there. YOU were the ones who created this situation and then you throw them out of your little prayer groups and 'Christian homes' and leave us to pick up the pieces of your spiritual violence. So, first you create the problem and then you blame us for the result."
Clearly, this young man had a lot more trouble than merely believing that he's going to burn in hell for merely being gay or bisexual. But if you think and truly believe that you're only going to end up in hell anyway, why not turn that wrath on the pious, self-righteous people who will forgive a meth-snorting hypocrital liar (who's still lying) like Ted Haggard, but have no love for a lost kid who feels he has nothing left to lose?
Addendum: The Southern Poverty Law Center just issued this brilliant overview of the spiritual violence inflicted by exgay programs.
EDIT: And this is a perfect example of their abuse: