Thursday, February 28, 2013

A TLS Trivia Question.

Here's a trivia question: Which actor in a starring role on two major TV shows played Buddy in the first workshop of The Last Session?

Answer: Charles Esten. (The link takes you to a new interview at Vulture).

He's in Enlightened on HBO and in Nashville on ABC.

And yeah, while I was playing Gideon, with the I.V. still stuck in my arm, my co-star playing Buddy was one Charles Esten, one of the kindest, smartest and most talented human beings on the planet.


What Schools Don't Teach

There was a time when being a computer coder was for nerds and outcasts. I don't know how to code, but when I first went on the Internet in 1995 and then put up my website in 1996, I had to learn html in order to write webpage. So I did. Some of it was just rote learning, and some of it was copy/paste from someone else's basic code. But I learned it well enough to put up a website back when 2/3 of the students in college classes I visited didn't even have email yet.

But if students today want the jobs of tomorrow, this is the modern "shop class" that ought to be everywhere.


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I Sure Can Scream.

"This is going to hurt," she warned me. I shoulda put my wallet in my mouth.

This plantar wart on my foot. It's been too persistent. This was my first time in her office.

She was talking about the Lidocaine that was about to be injected into my foot. I was immediately transported back to the famous Bell-Toe Incident in the old diary. Here is how I described it back then, when they had to numb my toe:
Of all the torture devices on this planet, of all the pain I've felt, nothing tops that needle going into the joint of my big toe. I started hyper ventilating and screaming again. She kept saying, "Slow down your breathing. It should stop hurting soon. Slow down!" My mind was a maze of pain and horror. I knew it would be over, but ohmygawd it just seemed to take so long.
 After I finished screaming yesterday, as she numbed the area between my toes, she said, "We can all go home now! You just cleared out the dressing room."

The reason for the numbing was she wanted a biopsy. So, today, I'm lying with my foot elevated -- and Jim has been taking care of me.

I wonder how long I can string this out?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Finger Aches.

I discovered it for real when, not long ago, my hands were in extreme pain after setting down some grocery bags.Then I felt pain as I picked them up. Now I am noticing this pain almost all the time, like when I stretch our my fingers wide.

I like getting old, but I hate the side effects.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Seed Planting.

Yesterday, blogger Seth Godin wrote another of his profound blog entries about seed planting. In time of scarcity, the harvest become fraught with competition and danger. But if enough seeds are planted during that time, the season of fear will pass and a season of plenty will soon come.

When the Righteous Mothers and I sang our concert in Olympia, Washington, I wasn't physically doing so well. When the strep throat -- or whatever it was -- came on, it was all I could do to croak my way through the show. My mind was on my misery, though we had a wonderful bonding experience, the audience, the other singers and I.

 But, as if by magic, an idea formed in the head of someone who was there purely by happenstance, who had never heard of me.

How often can we brag we not merely inspired someone, but that we inspired an artist? One of those special kinds of persons who take one thing and turn it into something else.

It's something everyone can do, even if it's just planting a seed of kindness. But it also got me to thinking that we plant seeds every day, all day long, whether we know it or not. And those seeds bear plants that grow long roots in the brains and lives of others.

I was too sick to remember much of that night. But Sally Penley heard a message about bullying and hate, and the next thing you know, she's at a meeting of the world's calligraphers signing people up to create art around words related to bullying and violence -- and peace and harmony.

And thus, we have "Out Of The Silence." But I didn't just grab that seed out of nowhere.

The seed I planted had been planted in me by Gabi Clayton and her desire to memorialize her son's suicide by reaching out to other disaffected youth who were victims of violence and bullying.

And I have no doubt that Out Of The Silence will plant more seeds.

Speaking of seeds, just as I was quoting Seth's blog, he writes this terrific post about bullying, and how it survives because institutions and bureaucracies thrive on conformity. Bullies are conformity's unofficial enforcers. How often has the victim been told, "Well, if you didn't walk that way" or "talk that way," there would have been no problem.

Which is, of course, a lie. The bully will simply find something else to attack. The victim is not the problem. 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Review of "Out of the Silence."



From the Seattle Gay News:
'Out of the Silence is an exhibit celebrating Diversity, Love & Understanding.' What it does is set up a visual feast of thoughtful, inspiring, and provocative quotes that represent some of the many voices standing up to bullying. And the proceeds go to Pizza Klatch, an Olympia organization whose goal is to reduce the rate of suicide (and attempted suicide) among LGBTQ students.
This is the calligraphic exhibit I told you about earlier, which was created by Sally Penley, who told me she was inspired by my concert in Olympia. They even mention me in the article!
It was in January 2012 that Penley attended a PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) sponsored event in Olympia. When a New York songwriter began performing a song about his own experiences, Penley was so moved that she decided to figure out a way to help the fight against LGBTQ youth-bashing and suicide.
That's me! The "New York songwriter!"

Thanks, Sally, for making art out of my lyrics and for allowing yourself to be inspired.

Blood Test Results.

Liver function, normal. Kidneys, normal. Cholesterol, normal. T-cells over 500 and holding steady. T-cell percentage at 24% (the highest it's been -- this is good). Triglycerides almost normal. Blood sugars under control. No kidney stones.

After delivering the good news, Dr. Tony said, "Ah, I'm good." And then polished his fingernails with a grin. 

After a year of much pain and worry, and after months on this new veggie diet, plus new HIV meds, it seems it's all working. Now I just need to rebuild body strength to prepare for my big moment at the World Domination Festival.

At one point, we were talking about being sick and I mentioned how I once had moluscums that were breaking out on my face and skin. He said, "You have to have an almost destroyed immune system when you're breaking out in those." He also said that, of all his patients, I've come from the longest way, healthwise, starting from when I was at the very bottom, back when I started this blog/diary. 

Speaking of Dr. Tony, he makes a quick appearance in the trailer I just made for this month's video diary. 


Saturday, February 09, 2013

The Scared is Scared

Found this on Digg. Love it. A six-year tells a story and then philosophizes on how to stop being scared of things.

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

How Yoga Helped a Veteran.

Zuzu's Petals by Kevin Andrew.

Kevin's story is one filled with heartaches and triumphs. Told firsthand, it is a personal journey in which one man struggles to find meaning through his own experiences with religion, war, death, physical disability, cancer, and depression. Ultimately, through meditation and the practice of yoga, he finds peace and turns tragedy into triumph. Kevin's story will inspire anyone who seeks to find sanity and simplicity in an insane and complex world.

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Video Diary Jan. 2013: 2 Seconds at a Time



A little experiment that turned out better than I ever dreamed. I had read about a person who recorded two seconds of video every day and came out with an entertaining video. So, I thought I'd give it a shot.

There are a few celebrities sprinkled throughout this video. Can you pick them out?

EDIT: Here is the shot list.

1. Manhattan skyline, looking south. World Trade Center. Christmas Eve, Dec. 2012.

2. Hudson river. New Jersey.

3. Hudson River. Jacob Javits Center and entrance to tunnel.

4. Midnight Mass. Christmas Eve. Silent Night. Candles only.

5. My pill tray. My list of medications beneath it.

6. WTC. Between Christmas and New Year.

7. Snow. Manhattan Plaza, which has subsidized housing for actors and retirees, through door.

8. 10th Avenue and 42nd street.

9.  Hudson River.

10. 42nd Street New Year’s Eve.

11. Me mentioning the barracades.

12. McDonald’s Times Square.

13. 42nd Street cleaner.

14. New Amsterdam theater. Mary Poppins is closing soon.

15. Me and Mary Poppins.

16. Times Square subway tunnel on my way to church.

17. Subway station underground. Waiting for the 1 train.

18. Rehearsing my  “Gloria.” Mark Janas conducting.

19. Performing “Gloria.”

20. Rehearsing in church.

21. Danielle Erin Rhodes winking.

22. Jonathan Marro, attached to Danielle. The three of us pretend we a thruple.

23. Me.

24. Organist Kalle writing intensely. He’s always writing intensely.

25. Rehearsing some ancient sacred song.

26. Steinbeck manning the feeding station.

27. Manhattan Plaza. Christmas lights still up.

28. Jim at the Big Apple grocery and butcher shop. They just closed it because they building is being replaced. It was the only place to get affordable food. Everything else in midtown is “gourmet.” Same stuff. Twice the price.

29-31. More shots of the, now, late Big Apple. Jim says hello.

32. The Good and Plenty in front of Manhattan Plaza also just closed. They had really great home-cooked meals. And then, suddenly, without warning, a notice. Closing because of rents or something. It was always crowded. It’s hard to find affordable food, which is tough for both the poor actors and for people on fixed incomes.

33. Our annual ritual of changing from the old Week-At-A-Glance to the new.

24. Lucy Es Inciente.

25. The pine needles have fallen from our mini-tree.

26. Taking off the ornament at the top. I think it’s from the White House, but I forget.

27. The cards will also be coming down. WTC in the background.

28. Pretty!

29. Jim just got his copy of the magazine from the Lyric Theater in Stuart, Florida where he’s going to do Zero for one last tour. He is ready to put his Zero shoes away. Character Man is coming.

30. Four Broadway theaters. The newest name changes were the Schoenfeld and the Bernard Jacobs. We call them the Merman and the Martin, because that’s what they should be.

31. Magician and comedian Rich Bloch.

32. Steinbeck gets a zerbert.

33. Boiling broccoli. My new diet is plant-based. Doctor’s orders. Kidney stones.

34. The poster of Zero Mostel in our kitchen. It was on the wall of the LA Shubert Theater and given to us when they tore it down. Or, rather, at the closing party, we claimed it from the stack of giveaways.

35. Asparagus and peanuts. More of my new diet. No salt.

36. Foggy day.

37. Merchant of Venice, which I am reading and from which I have learned a monologue.

38. Me doing my serious actory Shakespeare face in the subway.

39. At the Starbucks in Christopher Street waiting for Mark Janas, to head to church.

40. Church.

41. Swinging toward Mark Janas.

42. Mark Janas’ fingers playing something hard.

43. Subway home from Brooklyn. Trying to get to acting class.

44. Andy Gale’s advanced acting class. He’s the best in the city.

45. Jake Wesley Stewart.

46. Walking down 46th street, restaurant row. Broadway Joe is a steak house, I think.

47. Don’t Tell Mama, a premiere cabaret spot, where I’ve sung several times.

48. Marge Champion, Grand dame of New York dancers. Was the model for Cinderella and for the hippos in Fantasia.

49. Jim Brochu on Maude, as a patron in a gay bar.

50. Hudson River at night.

51. Signature Theater. New complex on 42nd street.

52. The backside of Hell’s Kitchen.

53. WTC at night.

54. Steinbeck. Early morning.

55. Jim and Steve.

56. Lunching with some lady friends, Magda, Jane and Merrill at the Polish Tea Room.

57. Running into a fan in Times Square. Cindy.

58. Jim imitating an very annoying commercial on TV.

59. Stack of books I’ve been reading.

60. Slats in the bedroom window.

61. Jim on the phone. Very serious. He wanted me to stop taping.

62. 10th avenue looking toward the Yotel.

63. Jim walking toward 42nd street, 10th avenue.

64. In front of new gay resort is where all the cops park. The station is next door. We’ve turned on 42nd and are headed west.

65. The police station.

66. The new Pearl Theater. Opened in the space abandoned when the Signature moved into the new building two blocks over.

67. West side highway, 11th street headed toward Javits Center.

68-70, JIm crosses the road, talks..

71. Inside the Javits Center.

72. There’s a motorcycle show. We weren’t going to that.

73. More walking.

74. Empire State Building.

75. Travel Show!

76. Going in.

77. The Russia exhibit.

78. A sign.

79. New Antarctic exhibit at Sea World.

80-81. Kids.

82. Another kid.

83. Jim covets Thai hat.

84-86. Lithuania.

87. Steve philosophizes.

88-89. More dancers.

90. Cindy Marchionda. She sang in choir that day, so we’re in Brooklyn.

91. Brooklyn.

92. Andy Gale’s class.

93. Stephen Wallem at Birdland. (Nurse Jackie’s Thor).

94. Steinbeck at the trough.

95. Morning exercise.

96. The OUT NYC.

97. WTC at night.

98. WTC later in the morning.

99. Me in the mirror.

100. The last cutting from the old red flannel bathrobe referenced in The Last Session. Frame was a placeholder at an awards show I hosted for the Spirit of Broadway theater.

101. Hudson River. Blazing sunset. Camera couldn’t really get it.

102. WTC sunset.

103. Hell’s Kitchen sunset.

104. The Skivvies at 54 Below. Yes, they play in their underwear. They are also very talented and very funny.

105. Stone and Stone, hilarious twin comics. Also 54 Below.

106. Jim in his chair. Steinbeck below.

107. Me and my meds.

108. Steinbeck on the blanket we call “the cat catcher.”

109. Jim writing.

110. I dusted!

111. WTC.

112. Hudson River.

113. A strange painting left to us by jazz pianist, Stan Freeman. I think it’s actual art.

114. Kitchen towel.

115. Steinbeck on the cat catcher.

116. “Fish not with this melancholy bait.”

117. Family members at the 13th Step.

118. The 13th Step.

119. Shooting a movie “Perfect Timing” from PrashNYC.

120-122. Caricatures in the Players Club in NYC in the bathroom.

123-124. Jim Brochu reads the gift of deed from Edwin Booth, donating his mansion to the Players. Junius Brutus Booth, father of Edwin and John Wilkes is in the portrait above the fireplace.

125. An onion we didn’t use.

126. Flowers/WTC.

127. Steinbeck.

128-132. 42nd and 9th at night. On my way to see Terese Genecco and meet Kathleen McGuire.

133. Traffic cops.

134. Getting the “magic bus” which runs down 10th to 34th street and then cuts to the east side. Our stop is the first stop, so the bus starts empty.

135. It fills up quickly, especially on a rainy night.

136. Looking up Park Avenue.

137. Subway on the east side. The letters turn green.

138. The new Cutting Room. Never been there.

139. A display inside.

140. Terese Genecco and her Little Big Band. She’s a great entertainer and singer. And her band is thrilling.

141. Lea Delaria presenting Terese with a signed prison uniform, a souvenir from her new series that takes place in a women’s prison. It was auctioned off for charity later that night.

142. Kathleen McGuire and me.

143. JIm.

144. Steve.

145. A caricature of me drawn on cup by Carl Maguire. Cap’n Shakl’n.

146. JIm at the new Cake Boss Cafe where the cakes cost $50. He had to try a pastry.

147. Bobble head doll of Cake Boss.

148. Aunt Bea drunk.

149. Picnic on Broadway.

150. Me.

151. Jim assaults stranger on street. (Actually, Timothy Jerome who is now in “Phantom.”

Thursday, January 31, 2013

New Steve songs in SFGMC's Harvey Milk tribute.

June 27-28 the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus will debut of two new compositions I've written for Living the Legacy: Harvey Milk 2013, "I Met A Boy" and "Resolution." Other composers featured will be Joseph Martin, Omar Thomas, my very beloved Sean Chapin, and Julian Hornik. Act Two will consist of the World Premiere of Broadway composer Andrew Lippa's "I Am Harvey Milk."


I am so honored to be included because not only am I in talented company, but the first act is going to be arranged by Dr. Timothy Sarsany, who is a legendary choral arranger, and conductor of the Columbus Gay Men's Chorus. This really is a thrill.

This started when I saw a press release that they were accepting submissions for this special evening, and they wanted songs that reflected how times have changed since Harvey Milk began his campaign to get us all out of the closet. I finished one, and then, because of a suggestion by pal, Ken McPherson (who felt like I had more in me to say on the subject) wrote another and submitted both. I was just hoping they'd take one!

So, a big thanks to the selection committee and to Dr. Tim Seelig, the artistic director and conductor of the chorus for giving me this wonderful opportunity.

June 27 and 28. Get tickets here.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I Will Appear at the World Domination Summit in Portland, OR.



It's all sold out so you can't go. Sorry. Tho I see some online at #wds2013, people unable to use theirs. But maybe we can do something about that. Make our own thing alongside it. Anyway, the news is that I've been asked to perform at the 2013 World Domination Summit. I'm thinking I should call myself Golorb! World Dominator!

This being my 60th year on this planet, it only makes sense that I would finally begin to realize my goal of world domination (was that my goal?), and no, the conference is not an S&M retreat.

It's a gathering of self-motivated entrepreneurs, artists, thinkers, tinkerers, explorers, craftspersons, writers, bloggers and musicians who gather every year to network and celebrate living a non-conformist and remarkable life. The man who has pulled this together is author, traveler and entrenepreneur Chris Guillebeau who does remarkable things, and then writes and blogs about it. 

But he doesn't just keep it to himself. He explains in simple language how anyone can do the same because of the new connected world we live in. His current book is called "The $100 Start-Up."

His point -- and it's one also made by Seth Godin and several other bloggers, people are becoming immune to advertising and hucksterism. They buy what their friends tell them to buy. They go where their friends recommend. You can spend a gajillion dollars on advertising, but if your product sucks, everyone will know about it instantly. And you're dead.

I hadn't heard of Chris before getting his email, so I was flattered to be asked. Especially when I clicked over to the World Domination Summit website and discovered that the event refuses all corporate sponsorship and does not accept submissions. "Do you think your client fits this? Well, it doesn't matter. We don't accept submissions."

So, how do you get chosen to be on the bill? Chris finds you.

Bob Lefsetz, the media guru and music industry critic, says how often he gets submissions from agents, artists, kids in their garages, etc. and he says that doing this is useless. "Stop sending me links to your videos and huge mp3 files! If you're any good, I'll find out about you." 

In days past, this was not true. 

I remember when I was managing director at National Academy of Songwriters, I was very excited about a young songwriter named Dan Bern. I literally took him over to music publishers and made him sit and play for them. Eventually, he got a deal and has made some great albums. But if I had had these kinds of tools back then... I still remember gluing letters onto a matte trying to make flyers.

We were not in a connected world.

But now, any kid from any corner of the globe can upload his music. Any adult can put something into the marketplace. Marketplace doesn't guarantee success. In fact, you'll get lost in the jungle.

Unless you're great. Forget the instant hit. This is about the long game. If you're great, people will find you. Now, there are lots of things you can and should do to push it along. For instance, this past year I finally put my album "The Bonus Round Sessions" into iTunes and Spotify because until then, I wasn't sure how. But along comes TuneCore and I suddenly have worldwide distribution.

In the connected world, Sony, Warner Bros., and all the big giants who used to have a chokehold on distribution are suddenly rendered irrelevant. The only thing they can bring to the table is money for production, advertising and publicity, which you end up paying for anyway, out of your contract.

I responded to Chris Guillebeau and asked him how he found me. In real world terms, I'm known maybe to a few theater fans, and to some people in the educational, health services and gay music worlds. But your mother never heard my name. He said it's a long story and he'll share it with me when we finally speak via phone.

And, funny, just about that same time, a young singer/dancer in the Netherlands, Joey von Grumbkow wrote me and asked if there was sheet music for "Save Me A Seat." I sent him the music. And in our exchanges, he didn't really know who I was -- or that I wrote for theater. But somehow the song got to him and he is using it for some project. 

It's a remarkable thing, this connected world. I stumbled into it in the early days out of sheer desperation to stay alive. I knew it had potential far beyond what anyone could envision. Do you think Gutenberg had any idea what would happen with the printing press? Remember the early days of TV, when they would simply replicate their radio shows?

A couple of days ago, I had this crazy idea that I can crowd-source a performance of New World Waking there in Portland, since I'm going to be there anyway. I have no venue. No cast. No nothing. But I bet we can do it. We live in a connected world. 

To that end, I made up a new graphic, thanks to a suggestion by Jim Brochu. 


So, who wants to sing with me in Portland?

The 13th Step


Had great fun hanging out with my second cousin, Nathan and his wife, Kendra. They were passing through town, moving up to Maine from Savannah.

After our lunch (at the Hitchcockian sounding "The 13th Step"), I went in and did my lines for the camera.

I wasn't nervous or anything. I just said them as plainly as I could. And then I tried a few other things. We'll see how it goes. Carl is thinking he wants me in the title role of Zombie Priest. I told him I can totally do a googly scary eye because of the paralysis in my right orb.

Friday, January 25, 2013

I Get To Act In A Movie!

Since my goal here in the Bonus Round is to do at least one of everything before I die, I can check "Movie Actor" off the list. Unless, of course, they leave me on the cutting room floor, the bastards. I feel very Bette Davis at this moment.

Google street view of shooting location.
The 13th Step sounds like a Hitchcock movie.
This Sunday afternoon, I will go over to the Lower East Side, find this location and deliver one line. Called "Perfect Timing," I will be Bachelor 8 at a speed dating event. Apparently, from the words they've given me, I am not one of the more suitable dates.

Okay, it's not a movie. More like a video short -- but what's the difference anymore? It's being done by a group of people called PrashNYC. My connection is Carl McGuire (who you'll see as "Zombie Doctor" in one of their other shorts there on the site, We met in the choir. And also Lynsey Buckalew, who I will declare to be my personal discovery some day). Carl is producing with Megan Stein, who will also  be directing.

Jim's been directing me all week. And then reproducing my efforts back to me. It's pretty hilarious. I can be natural in a scene, but I think you almost have to trick me. Carl says there'll be an element of improv on the set, so that may work in my favor.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Getting Reconnected.

Yesterday, I talked Cindy Marchionda into coming to church choir. For her, it's a very long train ride. She is a singer and actress from Miami with a great voice, dark auburn black hair and gorgeous huge eyes and smile.

After church, we got on the train and just talked all the way to Andy Gale's class. Or, rather, I should say, I talked. But she kept encouraging me, so I went on and on. Mostly philosophical stuff related to songwriting and how a person earns a living, not just in the arts, but anywhere.

I had told Andy that I want some help putting together a solid 15 minutes of pow. It seems I've been invited to perform at this international convention called the World Domination Summit. We haven't put together all the details yet, so I don't know if it's officially public, if it happens, I want to make sure I'm really firing on all cylinders.

When I perform, I'm usually 100% present, but I'm also very shy about looking people in the eye, from the stage. I can do it in person, but it takes me a moment. No one can tell, btw. I'm too happy to be performing to let it keep me from going full out.

But yesterday, I sang Connected for the class. The reader must remember that this song was written in 1995, and I've sung it tens of thousands of times. And yet, every time, it's like this little puzzle box and I don't know what I'm going to find when I open it up.

So, yesterday, when I sang, I don't even know if I was listening to the words coming out of my mouth. And Andy could tell. He said something about it feeling a bit -- not his words -- automatic, even though he and everyone in the class loved it. '

I said, "I know! I was halfway through the song when I realized I was in the middle of a song. And I thought, 'Oops. How do back up and get into this thing?'" And it was true. Words were coming out but my mind was elsewhere.

We had a discussion about that, and all the other actors in the room totally related to the feeling. Finally, he said for me to just breathe, imagine that no one has heard this story before, stop worrying about tempo, and just tell us the story.

Honestly, I have done this before. But it's usually after having not sung the song in the long time.

So, I took a breath and started singing. I could feel myself just counting as I screwed around with the intro, but then the words, "Cuz they'd never let Richie die."

And immediately I was transported back to the moment when that phrase hit me. I remember it hitting me in the chest like a sledgehammer. Happy Days. Fonz. Anson Williams. They never let Richie die.

Cut if Richie died, the show would be over. And yet, it was Fonz who was the star.

At that moment, I came out of the world of that image and noticed how every eye in the room was now red and pouring tears.

I don't remember much after that.

I had my Shakespeare monologue all memorized but we had such a full class, there was no time.

All in all, a very productive day.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Jim and Steve Do The Travel Show.

Jim said, "Let's go down to the travel show at the Javits Center," which is near our home. "Okay," I said, not knowing was a Travel Show was. To get there walked down 11th, which is almost to the water on the West Side of Manhattan. I was a cold day, but not too bad. He wore his beret.


I wore my South American cowboy hat, of course. Here I am in front of the Javits Center:

 Inside, Jim found these two guys in Cunard outfits right at the door. Both of them are actors, I think. So, here ya go, guys. A little blog love.


We got into a line where this girl was spinning a wheel for free prizes. At that moment, Jim remembered that he and his boyhood pal, Joey Moresca, used to go to travel agents and get brochures and act like customers. Since his apartment building in Brooklyn overlooked the river, he could see all the big passenger ships come in and out.


Guy explaining things to do in Curacao.


I loved this big Russian booth. Just down from it was one for Israel. "Find the Israel in you." I thought, you know if the world could be like a big travel show, it would all be so peaceful.

 Sea World was promoting a new attraction: Antarctica. Jim was disappointed. He wanted to brag about having been there already.


He did, however, manage to talk a girl in the Bali booth a chance to wear the crown.


In Uzbekistan, I sat on a little throne.

As you can see, the Javits Center is really large. A woman from some credit card took our picture, after which Jim told the next customer that she was his ex-wife. And she played right along.