Saturday, November 04, 2006

On Manhood, Women and Homosexuals

A friend of mine on a discussion board pointed me toward this article, Sex As A Weapon, and asked my opinion if the evangelical world really felt this way about manliness. I responded this way:

One of the aspects I find among those who "follow the exgay path" is how erotically they speak of Jesus. Jesus, in effect, becomes their new gay lover who holds them in His arms. They constantly write about how they no longer "need" gay sex because they are too busy "loving Jesus" in ways they usually describe that are more erotic that the most steamy novel you can buy at the cut-out bin at Wal-Mart.

Another thing to note is that evangelicals, for the most part, do not believe that homosexuality, as an orientation, actually exists. For them, ALL "homosexuals" are actually heterosexuals who've been either seduced into gay sex or fallen into it because they got demasculinized by women (or driven to it by a desire for eternal boyhood).

One of the psychiatrists, Dr. Paul Cameron, whom they both embrace and reject in varying ways, teaches that gay sex is way more fun than straight sex and, therefore, all straight men could turn gay if exposed to gay sex. As appealing as that might sound, it's been my experience that, while I've known a few straight guys who liked "being done," it only took the flash of a pair of nice boobs to make them turn straight again.

Their total denial of the FACT of homosexual persons is what drives men like Ted Haggard into a marriage, and then, subsequently, into the arms of a male hustler. The drugs, IMO, were not only about enhancing the sex act itself, but they also enabled him, in those hours alone with the muscle guy, to forget the wife and kids and career as a gay-hatin' leading light of the evangelical movement.

The books cited in the article, You, The Warrior Leader; The Barbarian Way and Fight on Your Knees; or, believe it or not, God's Gift To Women are, IMO, simply a reflection of the fact that white males feel they've lost something in the culture -- notice how they go back, dreamily, to an era before women got the vote -- when women were allowed a voice, bank accounts, and authority (over men) and jobs.

The most manly heterosexual men I know embrace a strong woman, love their gay friends, and delight at the prospect of being a human among equals. They aren't afraid of having lost their manliness because the woman they married might actually have some brains. They feel empowered when they are able to talk to their gay friends about intimate male issues. (I have a straight friend now who asks me about male grooming and other intimate areas because he feels he can't discuss these things with any straight men).

The pathetic men who read and write books about needing to claim their warriorship, their headliness, their masculinity, etc. seek to recover this so-called loss of power by making others their inferior. Like bullies in a schoolyard attempting to prove their masculinity by fag-bashing.

They project themselves as lord and master in a sick charade of shields and swords and costumes. Those things might be cute on Halloween or impressive in a fetish sex club, but in real life, a man who is confident in his manhood usually demonstrates his masculinity through reading, writing, making gentle, compassionate love and, hell, even doing the dishes or cleaning up around the house every once in awhile. And that goes for straight as well as gay.

The real threats to manhood are not women and homosexuals. The real threats to manhood are insincerity, insecurity, homophobia, misogyny and books that tell men to "act like men."

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10 comments:

Bev Sykes said...

"ALL "homosexuals" are actually heterosexuals who've been either seduced into gay sex or fallen into it because they got demasculinized by women (or driven to it by a desire for eternal boyhood)."

Don't these people have any opinion about lesbians? It's all about men, men, men...?

Dan said...

Your comment about how they talk about Jesus like a gay lover reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman starts a Christian rock band by taking normal love song lyrics and replacing the word "baby" with "Jesus."

Steve Schalchlin said...

Dan, I was in a band that used to do that. My most embarrassing lyric change from that era was when we sang "Bridge Over Troubled Water." On the bridge of that song, I sang, "Sail on, Christian friend."

I will never live that down.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I think this whole gentle guy thing is cack. We're basically cavemen and women in modern clothes. The genes haven't changed. We went through thousands of generations of natural selection. Women love virility, and from what I gather, so do gay men. OK, I admit it, virile men are a bit thick and somewhat insensitive. That's life. Can't have everything.

I have no opinions on the gay stuff and am an atheist & don't care a toss about stupid evangelicals by the way, who IMO are all dumb shits. I'm just commenting on the masculinity business.

Steve Schalchlin said...

Cack? What's cack? As for caveman virility, it might be attractive in fantasy or for a one night stand, but it's not how anyone defines true manhood in a civilized society. After the testosterone thrill, it's not that exciting when badboy turns into a fat lump on the couch.

Anonymous said...

Quite true Steve. When we socialize our boys into resctrictive masculine gender roles, we teach men to be half-human. We don't allow them to show emotions other than anger, we teach them to be overly aggressive and violent, to hate homosexuality (because it is reminiscent of femininity), and these things have been correlated with myriad negative health outcomes (e.g. shorter life, shallower relationships, higher levels of stress, lower life satisfaction, etc). I recommend using PsycInfo if you want to look up research on this topic, known in the field as the study of men and masculinity.

Anonymous said...

"Cack? What's cack?"

British for crap.

"As for caveman virility, it might be attractive in fantasy or for a one night stand, but it's not how anyone defines true manhood in a civilized society."

What's a civilized society and where is it? I'll move.

I'm talking about real men. I think the fantasy world is the one you are living in.

Do you mean to tell me that in American boys don't play rough sports? Don't compete for girls? Don't care about winning?

Exactly where are these gentle guys you are talking about?

I think you are the one who is living in the dream world.

""After the testosterone thrill, it's not that exciting when badboy turns into a fat lump on the couch."

Tosh. Only the thrill of masculinity can keep a woman interested in a man. When he's turned into a fat lump it's because his T level has dropped.

Nonsequitur said...

AMEN!!!! Well-put :)

Nonsequitur said...

Bev, I don't believe they have an opinion about it because the female psyche is far more mysterious and threatening to them... possibly something that they don't want to tackle at all (just look at the twistedly idealistic way that they perceive the females in their life... humble, subordinate, inferior...). Much of the anti-gay rhetoric out there is perpetrated by males who only know their own mind and can't fathom the fact that not everybody is wired the way that they are. Naturally, I don't speak for all of them, but having lived in heavily Christian/religious circles for most of my life, I know what the sickening, pervasive attitude is. Again, much of it boils down to misogyny and a failure to address this issue.

Steve Schalchlin said...

I forgot to address Bev. Yes, Bev, women don't really count in an autocratically man-centered culture where the fear of feminine is illustrated through hatred of homosexuality and the complete ignoring of females as human beings. Females exist to make babies. Don't you know anything?