WATCHMEN: Reviewed by Hemo2Homo.
Hemo: (somberly) You know, I'd like to think that- if I had more clotting factor- I could put together a suit and go out and fight crime...
Homo: Please let me dwell for a moment on what your costume would look like. I know! Paint your pee pee red and go naked! (It's the homo in me. I had to go there.) But seriously, as fellow positoids, we are bound together by our blood and purpose so that others aren't afraid of our kind. I saw Watchmen as a symbol of our abiding friendship as competitive good guys making things right in the world.
Hemo: ... so, am I a super hero?
Homo: Yes, but the only thing you bomb people with is your jokes.
A warning to our readers: Watchmen is a violent, complex, adult drama. It is not a "Let's get together and fight the bad guy" kind of movie, though they describe, in the film, that that's how super heroes in costumes started -- cops dressing up in reaction to bad guys dressing up like gangs.
Hemo: I also enjoyed the dark tone of the movie, how the lines were constantly being blurred. It's like watching the Today show, you don't know who the bad guy is, or if there even is one.
Homo: It plays like a novel. Dense, intelligent and captivating. In fact I went to see it a second time and liked it even more. There's so much in this movie, you can't get it all the first time.
Hemo: Kind of like a Hemo2Homo Connection review, right?
Homo: Only if someone reads my parts.
Hemo: Yeah, yeah. Enjoy your insults while you can, thickblood. I'm off to go work on that red pee pee suit. There are bigger things out there in the world for me to do than review movies. You haven't seen the last of me, Rorschachlin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Is this the end of the Hemo2Homo Connection? Will Shawn return as a masked avenger, and try to take over the Hemo2Homo Connection once and for all? Tune in next time to find out!
Steve's addendum: Since I really liked this movie so much, I'd like to publish some additional thoughts after having seen it again. The best review I've read of "Watchmen" --the one I most agree with -- is here written by Andrew O'Hehir. To tell you the truth, I'm a little peeved at the negative tone of many of the reviews, dismissing this intelligent, thoughtful and complexly difficult film outright as if it were a piece of fluff. That's just too easy. For one thing, you have Alan Moore's full permission. (He's the rebellious author of the source material, a comic series now available as a graphic novel, who has refused all royalties or even allow his name on the credits). And for another, no one can convert a great work into another great work. One will always be a pale imitation of the other.
Steve Schalchlin resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is an award-winning musician, singer and songwriter. Shawn Decker lives in Charlottesville, VA. He is an HIV/AIDS educator and the author of My Pet Virus.