Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Letter to Pat Robertson from Satan.

Genius. Found it on one of my discussion boards.

Minneapolis Star-Tribune
January 14, 2010
Letter to Editor by Lily Coyle

Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher.

The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please.

Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.



Anonymous said...


Morrie said...

Sadly Steve, every country has it's fair share of ratbags. I suppose with 200 million plus the usa is entitled to more than it's fair share, and Mr Robertson is a card carrying member of Ratbags USA. At least, I emailed him, and told him that he was. Whether he takes any notice is up to him. I'm unsure whether Bill CLinton, and George W Bush can really do anything in Haiti, but at least they're there, and I think it's got to be a shock for Mr Bush. Maybe as he gets older, he'll get wiser, particularly if he sees how near neighbours are suffering but still smiling, at least the children. Take care my friend. Love to you and JB. Morrie.

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